Okay so I'm not quite brave enough to have a C/C on my writing but I thought I would post it and ask for some Gentle oppinions on what could be improved.
So with out Further ado Here is part 1 the story of what might have happened if Crescent had survived and gone to the sun Village
Moon Princess X3 (I couldn't resist the title)
Part 1
The trek across the burning waste land had taken it toll on all the wolfriders the sun had scorched their fair skin to the blistering point.
Crescent sat in the coolness of the dark cave trying not to move around as each slight movement sent a new throbbing pain through the blisters though the salve that the dark beautiful healer Leetah had given them was soothing it still didn’t alleviate the pain completely.
Despite the pain that she was in she couldn’t help but be curious about their dark skinned benefactors and she resolved that the she was going to learn all that she could about them especially the sharp featured hunter that had tracked them when they had first discovered the village and her chief had rashly stolen the lovely healer. He was endlessly fascinating to her and she wasn’t quite sure why, she knew that she likely shouldn’t pursue this need she felt inside but...her internal struggles where interrupted by Dart as he sat down in her lap the pain of burns on his tender skin driving him to seek comfort from his older sister.
“Oh Kitling I know.” She whispered holding him with care for his burns as she reached for a the pot of salve. Carefully spreading it on the little elf’s tender skin, he flinched when she first started to spread the ointment on but as the pain began to lessen again he quieted and relaxed back into her arms to fall into an exhausted sleep. Crescent watched the daylight fade to twilight as she held the sleeping cub close and began to think longingly of a cool bath, perhaps she should have gone when her mother and the others had but she had just wanted to rest out of the heat then but now the dirt and dust she had gathered on the journey across the desert was beginning to make its presence know in a very irritating manner.
As full night descended she gave the sleeping cub over to their mother’s tender care getting the directions to the bathing pools as she did so. Taking one of the drying clothes that the sun villagers had given them she went in search of the relief that a bath would bring.
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Not even the usually soothing water of the desert spring could calm the anger that coursed within Rayek as he floated in the deepest part of the desert pool steam rising around him in pale clouds.
‘Those Savages will bring nothing but trouble’ He thought as he watched the sky darken to true night the Stars Brilliant in their dark setting, glimmering with secrets never to be revealed. A scowl twisted his sharply beautiful features as he continued to think on the changes he was sure those interlopers would bring the village was on the verge of change he could feel it and every part of him resisted this intrusion of his peace. However he could not see anyway to prevent it as it was already beginning it had started the moment those wolf Savages had descended on the village in that barbarian manner of theirs. Just thinking of it made him grit his teeth in anger.
A new barely discernable sound caught his attention. Gaining his footing he turned slowly surveying the area with a careful eye, He spotted her within seconds as she stood at the edge of the pool her pale skin almost glowing her lithe grace and beauty undeniable she was in her own way as lovely as Leetah. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she moved forward into the water her movements were those of a silent huntress and her Violet eyed gaze was directed straight at him.
“I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here.” Her voice was low and husky with an underlying hint of elfin music. The combination was pleasant and He was some what taken aback by the little thrills of pleasure it sent through him, he was also a but disconcerted by her direct gaze as she moved towards him. Her skin looked even more translucent close up marred only by small patches of red where the sun had left its mark and Rayek discovered that he wanted to leave his own mark upon that pale skin just as the sun had though a less painful one, he reined the urge in sharply and glowered at her not returning the friendly smile she offered him as she stood not far from him the water lapping at the gentle curve of her hips.
“Yes I come here when I want to be alone, the Villagers don’t usually venture to far from their home after the daystar has gone to its rest.” Rayek hoped that she would take the hint and leave him to finish his bath in peace she was making him uncomfortable in a very disturbing way. She ignored the hint and moved closer to him.
“I’m glad that you are here though, The healer Leetah gave us several jars but I’m not sure what to use first could you help me.” she said holding up two small brightly painted jars that he hadn’t noticed before.
“Why would I help one of you Savages.” He said harshly turning away quickly his back stiff with anger, How dare she try to reduce him to the role of hand maiden.
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Topic: Valkyies Written Mischief (Read 4509 times)